Friday, March 22, 2013

Pondering, Praising, Positivity


The impact this statistic will have on our world. The possibilities are endless. When I was pregnant with Gabriel, I was single. That was a big enough deal for me (I thought) that all I wanted was a healthy baby. No complications. I just wanted a fat, squalling baby I could raise into a decently happy human being. No complications. Especially not something a silent and unfixable as autism. I actually feared autism. I prayed I would escape that snare. A single mom? How in the world could I add that burden on top of everything else? Well, this is the point at which I would link to the big, fat blog post about Gabriel's diagnosis and ensuing adventures but ... I haven't gotten around to writing that yet. Suffice to say, I believe God has a sense of humor, and contrary to most of the world, I do not believe we are the punchline. God has a great sense of humor but an even greater store of mercy ready for the asking.

The sheer prevalence of autism suggests to me that we're doing something seriously wrong with God's gift here on Earth. Is it pesticides? Vaccines? Hormones, BHP, dietary changes, triclosan, violence, etc.? It could be any of this or none. There's a lot of work ahead. At the same time, the sheer prevalence of autism also suggests to me that perhaps this is God's plan at work. How else would we know all the faces of God if we didn't know these kids with autism? The same thing goes for Down Syndrome, or any other "disorder." How would we know the complexity, depth and breadth of God's human creation if we did not know ALL of these children? They are all a part of God's order, and perhaps it's time we all learn to live with and love them all, just like Christ taught the apostles.


Last night was open house at Gabriel's school, and I'm still bursting with pride. Gabriel certainly was last night. He literally could not contain his enthusiasm. There was square dancing, singing and signing, and oodles of artwork. Not to mention his number scroll -- all the way to 1,200! He was particularly proud of his number scroll. And the clay cup they made in art class. None of the pictures we took were able to capture the sheer joy he was experiencing. So I'm praising my boy. Even if he keeps "forgetting" this week's homework at school.


A glowing review at work today has helped my positivity quite a bit. I hate yearly reviews, and since I've only been here just over a year, I didn't know what to expect. But it's over and done, and PLEASE LORD MAKE THE BOSSES APPROVE THE TELEWORK PROPOSAL. Really, really please. I'm staying positive about this!

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Peace be with us

It's been a month since I posted last, and for very good reason. It's been one of the most difficult times in my life up to now. Upheaval and stress at work compounded by sickness after sickness at home -- the week of stomach viruses and hospital stay for my littlest one was epic and abysmal.

It's spring break now, another time I'm reminded of how much of life I miss by working like I do, and instead of feeling buoyed I feel depressed. Distant. Exhausted. I am so tired of clutching at moments, day after day, just trying to get by -- Just until bedtime ... Just until Friday ... I'm spent. Done.

I haven't given up hope -- hope is still anchoring me, as is the Holy Spirit (which is saying something since my Mass attendance has been sketchy at best). They are the reasons I get out of bed in the morning, go to work, do the laundry.

Right now, I'm pondering what spring will bring. The seasons have changed in Texas and daylight savings time, as much as I detest it, gives me so much more light every day. It makes me want to clean the house top to bottom, change all the curtains and dig in the dirt. Plant things.

And if it's March, then I must be pondering ways to discourage the vile herons from taking up residence yet again. Nasty, federally protected pests.

Oh, I'm praising the Holy Spirit! A new pope! And a Jesuit who chose the name Francis! It's not clear today whether he's honoring Francis of Assisi or Francis Xavier. Either way, he was God's choice, so I am happy. I can't imagine how happy the Spanish-speaking world is right now.

I'm focusing on the positive aspects of life right now so I can stay afloat -- things like these:

Pope Francis

Oh, I'm so excited! Just giddy like a fangirl at a con. Seriously!

Aaaaaaaaaaand now I'm ready for Catholicism to get off the news sites. I'm already so tired of the idiots who only like to hear themselves talk cracking jokes and not caring that there are people out there who have been praying for this man for weeks now.

Back off, kids! Fangirls get fierce when they're messed with.