A sick day

No, it's not the flu or any other virus -- it's just this frustrating weather and my allergies making me miserable today. It's easy for people to write that off as not really being sick (I'm guilty of that myself) but when I can feel all eight sinus passages throbbing in my head and my muscles feel like jelly, then I admit I'm beat.

My senior editor made me take an honest to goodness sick day today -- not just an "I'm sick so I'll work from home" day. I'm grateful to her, not just for being a self-sacrificing workhorse (she is) but for being empathetic and encouraging me to log off and sleep. Because I actually did sleep. During the day. And for more than 20 minutes. It's completely unlike me, but I fought hard against random text messages, barking dogs and weird house noises to actually achieve a real nap. And I felt better when I woke up! It sounds silly, but it's not just that I don't usually have the opportunity to nap -- I usually can't let myself. But not today. Thank God.

I keep thinking about different blog posts I should make but nothing is really coming to fruition. So instead, I'm going to start a semi-regular thing here (you like the way I side-step commitment right there?) inspired by the clever and inspiring Karen Edmisten here. It will henceforth be called "Pondering, Positivity, Praise" or the three Ps. I know that's goofy, but if you couldn't tell already, I love alliteration. So here we go...

Pondering... Over the last few days I have been thinking a lot about women in the workplace, specifically mothers in the workplace. I work full-time. And anyone I've talked to about this knows, I'd rather not be working outside the home. But like Father Larry told me, not in these exact words but with much love, get over yourself. This job is straight from the hand of God. It's saved us from losing our house, it's helped me lose weight (who knew, right?) and most importantly it is perfecting me and my husband in ways only God himself could do.

Back to the topic -- mothers in the workplace. A coworker and I had an excellent conversation after work on Friday. You might call it a bitch session -- that wouldn't be far off. And it was much needed. She and I aren't the only mommies in our department, but we are the only mommies of small children who don't party. Like, party party. Our company prides itself on "working hard and playing hard," if that tells you anything. There's a beer fridge, for crying out loud. But because my coworker and I are responsible for picking up our kids from daycare after work, we can never stay to partake of said beer fridge. Or go to happy hours or after-work parties. And it's becoming clear to us both that it's a thing. And it might just be keeping us from being recognized for any achievement we might make. We both agree that "moving up" is not a priority for us -- our children and families come first. But it smarted when we each realized that our responsibilities to our families are stumbling blocks to satisfaction at work.

So, I go back to the idea of starting the Undoer of Knots novena. For all working moms.


Positivity... Which segues oh, so nicely into this segment. It is so important for me to fight off the negative feelings I encounter every day, seemingly from all around me. The Internet in particular is a problem. Specifically social media. Facebook and I make take a break for a while, save for a special few individuals.  This story sums it up.


Praise... I am praising the Lord for all the difficulties he's sending our way. Not that I'm not grumbling about some of them. Okay, most of them. But I also know, once I get a little distance, that they are making us all better people. I'm praising him especially for the hard-headedness of my sweet 8-year-old son. I mean, when God set out to see just how stubborn a boy can be, he outdid himself. :)

So there you have it. A sick proves to be quite productive, after all.

Gratitude

Social media has almost soured my opinion of public sharing at this time of year. Not because I think sharing the things you're grateful for or thankful for, but because, like so many other good things in this world, it becomes a kind of competition, a spectator sport.

Real gratitude isn't spending a month (if that -- I suspect some people stop on Thanksgiving Day) counting your blessings. We should do that every day. It seems to me that honest gratitude is knowing and appreciating (as much as we can) what we have and not wanting more. It is to be happy with what we have but taking it even farther -- being honestly content because we know we don't deserve more. If my life is truly in order, what more could I possibly want?

Tonight at bedtime, I read the story of St. Kateri Tekakwitha to the boys. And as only Amy Welborn can, that story illustrated this kernel of what gratitude is. If you "put things in order" and know what's most important in life, honest gratitude naturally flows from the peace that comes with such order.

At the end of each story, Welborn has a short reflection question this one, in essence, asks what's most important in your life. Since my oldest was still awake, I asked him that question. His answer knocked my socks off. He said, "Well, uh, church."

Now, for a kid with autism and who fights going to Mass most of the time, I was a little incredulous (sorry!) so I said, "Church? Really?" And he said, "Yeah."

Now what more could a mother ask for? I know "church," the construct isn't what's most important, and I think my son does too. After all, I've been teaching him for years that church is God's house. He knows Jesus is "in the box." But of all the things this kid could have said, he said "church."

And that's close enough for this grateful mother.